I Hate Being In Love With You

I hate being in love with you.
I hate the feelings I get every time you cross my mind.
I hate the way my reality spits at my face and says
"Give it up bitch, its a long shot!"
I hate the fact that there are other girls that have won your heart.
I hate the way my heart skips beats whenever I hear your voice
I hate how I dream about you every night and when I wake up you ignore me and don't remember that I exist.
I hate the fact that I've sobbed over you in my bed, not wanting to get up and give myself a chance to embrace every new day.
If I love you, why do I hate being in love with you?
Shouldn't I be happy and not feel my heart aching?
Jesus Christ! Why?
I love you so much,
But I cant keep breaking my own heart loving you when I know full well that I will never be with you.
I just fucking hate that!
But still, I cant stop loving you.
Yet, you don't deserve my poems,
You don't deserve my tears.
You don't deserve my feelings
Or my innate fears.
You don't deserve my heart
Or my devotion.
I'm giving myself away to you when you don't deserve it.
I should be investing in someone who truly loves me and truly cares about me.
That person that truly deserves it.
I hate the fact that I love you.
But why can't I stop loving you?